The most significant key to behavior is the way we feel about ourselves. There is no value judgement more important than the way we view ourselves. A solid foundation of love along with the ability to cope with and master problems typically leads to feelings of self-confidence and self-efficacy. What can you do to help a child in your program feel confident about herself and enhance her feelings of self-efficacy? The challenge is to develop and incorporate policies that encourage the development of self-confidence and self-efficacy.
Help children set reasonable goals. For example, to expect a poor swimmer to win a medal is unfair to the child. Emphasize that you don’t expect perfection from everything they do, nor should they expect perfection from themselves. Encourage them to evaluate themselves realistically and continue to improve and enjoy each activity.
Being number one is not as important as getting involved and enjoying the activity. For example, the rewards for an eight year-old child for participating in a game are to learn teamwork and cooperation develop skills and test limits. Develop policies that encourage staff to ask questions such as, "What did you learn?" or "What was your favorite part of the activity?" rather than "Did you win?"
When the child is discouraged, allow him to express his feelings. For example, the child may remark, "I played a terrible game." Never make light or discount the child’s feelings. Develop policies that create a safe, comfortable environment that fosters open dialogue between staff and children.
Never suggest that your love and approval are linked to the child’s accomplishments. Encourage her to do well in all activities. Triumphs and disappointments should be expected. Develop policies that allow children opportunities to discuss their achievements and their disappointments in a productive manner.
Self-confidences comes with meeting challenges. There are many ways to help a child develop a sense of accomplishment through games, sports and things that come easy to her. Create opportunities for her to succeed.