The best way to begin a conversation with parents seeking enrollment for their child with disabilities is to ask about their child's abilities and skills. Although this question may take parents aback, they will be only too happy to talk with you about their child!
Don't be surprised if you have to prompt the parents from time to time to get a full picture of the child: "Tell me about his physical development. How would you describe her emotional side: What about Pat's 'people' skills? When it comes to school, where does he shine-Math? Reading? Spelling?" Although many of these parents can talk at length about their child's disability, they have had relatively few opportunities to talk about their child as a well-rounded kid.
You might begin the next set of questions by asking to the parents about the child's disability: "Tell me about Kina"s disability. What is it? What type of challenge does it present for your child? What seems to work best for Kina? Are there some environments/situations that are better for Kina? What causes problems for her? In what area does she need assistance: What seems to be the best way for providing that assistance: Listen closely to these people. They are the real experts for this child and disability condition!
If you have some concerns about your ability to provide services to this child, now is a good time to share them with the parents. You might say, "I have some concerns about my ability to meet your child's needs. Some of these concerns are probably quite realistic while others might be a result of lack of knowledge or experience with a disability such as your daughter's. Let's see if we can sort through these issues!" You will find that most parents will respond favorably to this honest expression of concern and will be equally honest in sharing their own worries and doubts. You should take notes about the accommodations that would need to occur if the child was to fully participate in your program-hiring an assistant, structual changes, inservice training, medication administration, health concerns, etc. and use them as the basis for discussion with the parents.
Don't be surprised if both you and the parents are tired at the end of the discussion. It is hard work being honest, supportive, realistic and anxious! The worry about saying and doing the right thing is draining for parent and provider alike. Schedule another meeting and a tour of your facility/home with the parents so that all of you can address the issues identified with a clear and open mind. Ask the parents if they are working with anyone (e.g., social worker, case manager, special education teacher) who could add insight and valuable assistance to the discussion of program accommodations, and have them invite that person to the next meeting.
It may take a number of meetings, as well as written and agreed upon guidelines and deadlines, before everyone is ready to proceed with the child's enrollment into the program. When all participants feel that their ideas, suggestions and concerns are being listened and responded to, the commitment to providing the best child care experience possible for this child will be realized.