For whatever reason a child is at home alone, a family must make its own decisions concerning the age children may begin self-care. It should be a decision made by the child and parent together when both feel ready for self-care to begin. Every family's situation is different, and your plan will depend on your location and resources.

Unfortunately, no magic age exists when children develop the maturity and good sense they need to stay alone. However, you can look for signs that show your child may be ready.

First, your child should show a desire and willingness to stay alone. Children who are easily frightened or who express an unwillingness to say alone are probably not ready for this responsibility. In addition, your child should be able to consider alternatives and make decisions independently. Children who are able to get ready for school on time, solve problems on their own, complete homework and household chores with minimum supervision and remember to tell you where they are going and when they will be back are demonstrating some of the skills they will need to care for themselves. For many children, these abilities begin to appear between the ages of 10 and 12. Others, however, may need a few more years to develop the skills and sense of responsibility they will need to stay alone.

Finally, your child should be able to talk easily with you about interests and concerns. You need good parent-child communication to ensure that any fears or problems that arise from staying alone will be quickly discussed and resolved.

If your child shows you such signs, you may want to consider self-care. However, you should consider several other factors including the safety of your neighborhood, the availability of adults nearby and how long your child will be alone. If your neighborhood is unsafe, if there are no adults nearby to call in case of an emergency or if your child must remain alone for a long time, you should continue to use some form of child care even if your child seems ready to stay alone.

Editor's note: Children in self-care may have asked to be left home alone or may feel that they have outgrown their child-care setting. The following is a checklist that providers can share with the children and their parents. The list may help both child and parent decide if the child is ready. Parents need to be reminded, however, that safety should be the number-one concern.

I can...
• Lock and unlock doors and windows.
• Tell time.
• Give my name, address and directions to my farm, ranch, home or apartment.
• Give my telephone number.
• Explain how I would handle first aid for cuts and scrapes, burns, nosebleeds, poisoning, bites, chocking and eye injuries.
• Find the first-aid supplies.
• Identify two escape routes from home in case of a fire.
• Show my parents how I can correctly handle telephone calls.
• Show my parents how I handle strangers at the door.
• Explain how to reach my parents by telephone or radio.
• Name two adults to contact in an emergency. Identify a safe place to seek shelter during a storm.
• Name five household rules and say which ones were followed last week
• Give an example of a time when I had to figure out and decide for myself what was the right thing to do.
• Give an example of a recent talk with my parents about a problem where they helped me think of a solution
• Explain to may parents what to do if I am bored or lonely.
• Show my parents what I do when I get home in the afternoon.
• Fix my family three snack foods by myself.

Excerpted from At Home Alone by Karen DeBord, Assistant Professor and State Specialist Child Development, North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service, North Carolina State University.

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