"He's old enough to go home alone."
"She doesn't have anything to do after school..."
"I don't want to be with the babies."
"I'd rather hang out with my friends."
As parents and providers we hear these phrases over and over from children who are ten and up. As parents and providers we are faced with a dilemma: What do we do? What is best for our children? What is best for us?
Even the schools tell us these kids are old enough to take care of themselves. Why then is our society experiencing a crisis with regard to school drop-out rates, teen pregnancy, teen suicide and drug usage? This group of children is being ignored in the way of caring, and we can't afford to let it continue.
Providing a place for children isn't enough. Providing quality care is critical. How we provide that care is something all people who deal with adolescents are careful about. I once met a psychologist who called these children "human becomings." They are going through tremendous pressures to reach adulthood. We need to help them. We need to provide nurturing in a way that does not smother them. That allows them to grow. We need to be aware of what adolescent development is and what sensitivities providers and parents need to exhibit. Leah Lefstein, the Executive Director of the Indiana Youth Institute, simplified this with the following diagram:
Children at this stage need as much strong support as possible from someone who will listen to them, someone who will hug them, someone who will allow them to make mistakes without harm. They need someone to give them an opportunity, not just a chance. Providers become facilitators at this point.
Planning become a collaborative effort among children and facilitators. If programming can be extended to include a high degree of community involvement, success is even greater. What are the children's and parents' needs: what are the resources in the community?
Experiential activities should be stressed. Children learn well by doing. They are growing rapidly and quickly become tired of sitting. However, since their physical growth is diverse, physical competition should be de-emphasized. This is a time to lean new skills, social as well as physical. They are beginning to wonder, "Who am I? What will I become?" Positive peer relationships as well as adult role models of different gender race are important.
Clubs and education experiences can fit nicely into there developmental patterns. But it is important that care be an integral part of these activities. We must, and can, help these children develop to their fullest potential.