As a caregiver of young children you might wonder why you would be concerned about children of incarcerated parents. Women with young children are the fastest growing group of inmates. Most women who are incarcerated have a history of victimization and substance abuse (Devine, 1997; Feinman, 1994). Because of embarrassment or concern about the reactions of others, family members may not tell you, the caregiver, or the child that a parent is incarcerated. If you care for children who are not living with their biological parent, it is possible that the parent is incarcerated.

Children whose parent is incarcerated are impacted in a number of ways. They may feel a sense of:

• Guilt. Parents sometimes steal, sell drugs, or prostitute themselves to support their family. Because they are egocentric, children may believe they are to blame.
• Shame. Depending on friends’ and others’ reactions to the incarceration, children may be embarrassed or ashamed. At the very least, they will be confused and try to make sense of their parent’s incarceration or absence.
• Rejection. Some incarcerated parents are so ashamed they don’t talk with their children; or they don’t know what to say, so they say nothing. Sometimes family members won’t let incarcerated parents communicate with their children. Whatever the reason for no or little communication, children may feel rejected, unlovable, and abandoned.
• Lack of trust. Children of incarcerated parents certainly experience feelings of loss, insecurity, instability, and betrayal due to their parent’s incarceration. All of this impacts children’s ability to trust.

The impact on children depends on a number of factors, including the following:

• Child’s age. For example, if an infant is separated from a parent, attachment may not occur. If a child is in school and friends know about the incarceration, peer relations may be affected.
• Parent’s gender. Children experience more upheaval and change if the mother rather than the father is incarcerated (Catan, 1992; Devine, 1997; Woodrow, 1992). When the father is incarcerated, most children don’t experience a change in residence or primary caregiver. When the mother is incarcerated, children usually are sent to live with other relatives and many are separated from their siblings.
• Circumstances of arrest. Children who witness an arrest may fear police or have nightmares.
• Children’s knowledge. Some families chose not to tell children about the incarceration. They may tell children their parent is in the hospital or just has to be away for awhile.

  What can caregivers do if a child in their home or center has an incarcerated parent? Caregivers might think of a parent’s incarceration as similar to many other major changes in a child’s life (Richards, 1992). For example, if a child’s parents divorce or one parent dies, a child may have similar feelings of loss, rejection, confusion, and guilt. Caregivers can help in the following ways:

  • Provide constant reassurance. Let children know you care about them. Tell them you understand that they miss their mom or dad.
  • Listen. Talk about the situation, if and when, children want to. Find out what the family is saying. Are they telling the child that mom or dad is in jail or prison? Follow their lead so as not to further confuse the child. Support those parenting the child.
  • Answer children’s questions. Be as honest as possible, while providing answers at children’s developmental level.
  • Provide consistency. Consistency is an important factor in all child care, but it is especially important for children whose parents are in prison.
  • Celebrate. Increase attention for children’s birthdays and other significant events.
  • Respect the parental bond. Children love the incarcerated parent. Even if caregivers do not agree with parent’s unlawful actions, we still need to support the children. Disrespect or negative conversations about parents will only hurt children.
  • Recognize negative reactions. Behavior and changes in children may indicate their attempts to understand and deal with their missing parent and the resulting changes.
  • Seek support. Talk with your director and other teachers for strategies to help the child, but keep the family information confidential.

    Although the impact of a parent’s incarceration can last a life time, caregivers may be able to decrease the negative effects. Two books that can provide further insight are: Nine Candles by Maria Testa and When Andy’s Father Went to Prison by Martha Whitmore Hickman. Both illustrate kind and compassionate responses of teachers and spouses, including the impact of incarceration on a child. Unfortunately, many families don’t provide visits or other forms of contact for children and the incarcerated parent. The impact of this can be devastating for the child and the parent. Maintaining the family bond is actually one of the key factors in a parent not returning to jail or prison. Maintaining the bond can also decrease the likelihood of children following in their parent’s footsteps or developing severe emotional difficulties later in life (Devine, 1997; Shaw, 1992).

    References:
    Catan, L. (1992). Infants with mothers in prison. In R. Shaw (Ed.), Prisoner’s Children. (pp.13-28). New York: Routledge, Chapman and Hall, Inc.
    Curtis, J. (1995). F.A.T.H.E.R.S. Fathers As Teachers: Helping, Encouraging, Reading, Supporting. Sacramento, CA: California State Library.
    Devine, K. (April, 1997). Family Unity: The benefits and costs of community-based sentencing programs for women and their children in Illinois. Chicago Legal Aid to Incarcerated Mothers. [on-line]. Available: http://www.c-l-a-i-m.org.toc.htm
    Feinman, C. (1994). Women in the criminal justice system. Westport, CN: Praeger Publishers.
    Hickman, M. W. (1990). When Andy’s father went to prison. Niles, IL: Albert Whitman & Company.
    Richards, M. (1992). The separation of children and parents. In R. Shaw (Ed.), Prisoner’s Children. (pp.3-12). New York: Routledge, Chapman and Hall, Inc.
    Shaw, R. (Ed.) (1992). Prisoner’s Children. New York: Routledge, Chapman and Hall, Inc.
    Testa, M. (1996). Nine Candles. Minneapolis: Carolrhoda Books, Inc.
    Woodrow, J. (1992). Mothers inside, children outside. In R. Shaw (Ed.), Prisoner’s Children. (pp.29-40). New York: Routledge, Chapman and Hall, Inc.
    

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